New Hampshire’s a state in disgrace
Too proud of that rocky man’s face
But gravity came
And much to their shame,
The tourists now spurn the ol’ place

At the warm friendly Moose River Campground
There was plenty of roast pig to go ’round
And boys in grass skirts
And Hawaiian shirts
Did Limbo to Bud’s Karaoke sound

My Barry’s the bravest of guys
He bends backward, and he really tries
But limbo’s a sport
for those really short
His effort, though, won him a prize!

There’s a fellow named Jonathan Kling
Who’s a whiz at the sport of ski jumping
But there’s not any snow
And he still needs to go
So from Astro-Turf green he’s been flying!

Unpaved roads are made up of grime
Which thunderstorms then turn to slime
And twisty and zany
Is that ol’ Allegheny
We crossed it no less than eight times!

Now we think Columbus is great
A fine place to have your first date
Meps ‘n’ Barry are pleased,
(And each Miller agrees)
It’s the best place to find your life’s mate!

Barry’s sister is thoughtful and wise
And deserves a big birthday surprise
The party will rock
(If she’ don’t die of shock
When the blindfold’s removed from her eyes!)

I’ll be resting my road-weary head
On a comfortable, big queen-sized bed
In the van we did buy
That is long, wide, and high
(And I’m glad it is blue, and not red!)

The house is not nearly as quiet
It’s harder to stay on my diet
Dad’s back from afar
And he’ll loan us his car
So if we’d just find a van, we could buy it!

The folks in Sebastian were nice
And Lynn didn’t have to ask twice
In a kettle was born
That sweet golden Korn
Which, when popped, is my secret vice

The fireworks flew into the sky
And exploded from up on high
But the lightning and thunder
We were sitting under
Were the stars of the third of July

Two sailors who really weren’t roughin’ it
Rented a car and were stuffin’ it
With all of their junk
From Cayenne’s forward bunk
Now they’re livin’ in Florida and lovin’ it!