Category Archives: Limericks

Leopard-Print Daisy

10/17/2005 meps Leave a comment

A lovely old-timer named Daisy
Said, “This is no time to be lazy!
“My birthday, I think,
“Is a fine time to drink,
“But responsibility, let’s not go crazy.”

So we drove down to rainy Eugene
To check out this partying scene
But the gas left us broke,
So her gift was a joke
Just her face on an old magazine

Still, her friends, they were very impressed
By the way that the picture was dressed
They all said, “Daisy’s not
old, she is HOT!
And her dancing is among the best.”

Yet another birthday limerick, this one in honor of my big sister, Daisy. We drove down to Eugene to attend her party last weekend, and after cocktails and conversation, we danced the night away. Our gift was a copy of AARP’s “Modern Maturity” magazine with a great photo of Daisy on the cover–her face on Susan Sarandon’s body, wearing an outrageous leopard print dress. I was so busy, I forgot to take a picture of it!

Limericks, Our Limerick Life

WhyI’m not an RV-er

9/20/2005 meps Leave a comment

I’m staring at my new abode
Which from miles away, I have towed
Because I’m a sailor
This large, boxy trailer
Does not inspire much of an ode
===
I am getting used to the sight of our used 30-foot travel trailer in the driveway, but it’s still very strange to me. Why is the ugliest boat more beautiful than the loveliest RV?

Birthday Limericks, Limericks

Mozart, Beethoven, and LaPoma

9/10/2005 meps Leave a comment

The tuner is sounding erratic
And putting out way too much static
Let’s turn off the stereo
And listen to Dario
Whose piano makes us ecstatic

In honor of my nephew, Dario LaPoma, on his 18th birthday!

Birthday Limericks, Defining Words in Verse, Limericks

A limerick containing Dad’s favorite phrase

8/31/2005 meps Leave a comment

There once was a fellow named Hank
Who said, “Let’s be perfectly frank
“This party’s OK
But, please, don’t say ‘birthday'”
“POO POO!” cried the guests, as they drank

In honor of my Dad, who retains a prodigious vocabulary in his later years, but has added a number of phrases like “poo poo” and “toot toot.” Friends and family members find such words charming in such an erudite individual, but wonder what the words actually mean.

Friends Along the Way, Limericks, Messing About in Boats

Formerly known as Nereid

8/22/2005 meps Leave a comment

Her shape is quite beamy, not narrow
Her mast is as straight as an arrow
With her Cap’n, named Jac
We are glad to be back
Aboard Nereid, now known as Sparrow!

We were glad to meet Jac, face to face
So we signed on as crew for a race
But the gods were unjust
“Around Shaw” was a bust
Of the wind, there was nary a trace

***
Of the 68 boats that started the Around Shaw race, we were among the 63 that did not finish. Still, a bad day racing beats a good day working, any time!

2005 Retracing the Yukon Gold Rush, Food Limericks, Limericks, Messing About in Boats

Well, I thought it was funny

8/12/2005 meps Leave a comment

There once was a cruise ship in Hoonah
Whose passengers hated canned tuna
“If we wanted such fare,
“We’d go over there
“And sail with the folks on that schoona’!”

When I read this out loud to the folks on Indigo, it went over like a lead balloon. What, don’t schooner and tuna rhyme?

The truth is, we only ate tuna on Indigo once. And that time, I disguised it so well that Barry later asked me if my tuna salad actually had tuna in it!

2005 Retracing the Yukon Gold Rush, Limericks, Strange and Silly

Eagle doesn’t rhyme with seagull

8/8/2005 meps Leave a comment

He’s staring at me down his beak
Looking massive, ferocious and sleek
This huge awesome eagle
Is so goddamned regal
I feel like a featherless freak

We were paddling down the Yukon River when I wrote this. There weren’t too many eagles, about one a day. Lots more arctic terns and gulls, and a few kingfishers.

Barry and I actually call eagles “iggles” and seagulls “siggles.” It runs in the family: We recently heard that Barry’s 2-year-old nephew calls seagulls “e-gulls!”

2005 Retracing the Yukon Gold Rush, Limericks

Whitehorse, Yukon, 1:30 AM

7/20/2005 meps Leave a comment

A few feet away from our campsite
Some people are having a fistfight
It’s pretty surreal
This kind of ordeal
Is not s’posed to happen at twilight

We were in Whitehorse, Yukon Territories, the day before the summer solstice. There were a couple of hours of twilight in the woods where we were camping, but it was light all night long. The lack of darkness made people stay up late, drinking and playing frisbee and then having weird middle-of-the-night fights.

2005 Retracing the Yukon Gold Rush, Limericks, Messing About in Boats

Juneau: Too many tourists?

7/16/2005 meps Leave a comment

The folks from a dozen cruise ships
Paid cabbies and bus drivers tips,
To go to the glacier
And commune with nature —
And be in each others’ film clips.

After so much solitude, sailing up the Inside Passage, we found the tourists in Juneau more interesting than the scenery.

2005 Retracing the Yukon Gold Rush, Limericks, Messing About in Boats

Geologists rock

7/3/2005 meps Leave a comment

To fix all a boat’s broken gear
Requires more than one engineer
But for ID-ing schist
A geologist
Like Barbara, is great to have here

An older limerick, as yet unpublished, from our cruise up the Inside Passage. We had two engineers (Jim and Barry), one geologist and air quality expert (Barbara), and one writer of lame limericks (me).