A bikini-clad Kiwi named Nelly
Decided to wrestle in jelly
“It’s Easter, I know,
But I just have to go,
If I win, I might be on the telly!”
For more on semi-nude jelly wrestling, see Candy is dandy, under Adventures.
A bikini-clad Kiwi named Nelly
Decided to wrestle in jelly
“It’s Easter, I know,
But I just have to go,
If I win, I might be on the telly!”
For more on semi-nude jelly wrestling, see Candy is dandy, under Adventures.
“Psssst, Julie, you awake?”
It’s 8 AM, and an indistinct mumbling comes from under the guest bed pillow.
“You’re sleeping in the garage, and I need to get the car out!”
Normally, I wouldn’t make a guest sleep in the garage. But in this case, my sister had come for the week, and she was sleeping in the guest room where all the bicycles are stored.
Our current house-sitting gig is in Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood, and we’re walking distance from restaurants, grocery stores, and the library. We parked the Squid Wagon, our 3/4 ton Ford van, when we arrived weeks ago, and we walk or ride bikes everywhere.
Luckily for us, only two blocks away from us is the bicyclist’s version of the interstate: The Burke-Gilman trail.
The Burke-Gilman is about 18 miles long, and it runs along the Ship Canal from Ballard to the University District, then it loosely follows the shore of Lake Washington to Bothell. From there, you can connect to another 10-mile trail, so an out-and-back bike ride is well over 50 miles.
Admittedly, the trail can get overused, especially on the weekends. But it’s still more relaxing than dealing with traffic, potholes, and stoplights.
The trail is named after two men, Thomas Burke and Daniel Gilman, who were responsible for the Seattle, Lake Shore, and Eastern Railway. They were forward thinkers with big dreams for their railway, considering that in 1885, there were only a few families living along the route. It ended up being a heavily used spur route, but by 1971, it was abandoned.
The unused tracks, though, were just right for a bicycle route. Some forward-thinking Seattle and King county voters approved the bond issues to pay for the various portions of the trail, so that by 1978, you could ride from Gasworks Park to Kenmore.
The day after waking Julie to get the “car” out, Barry and I borrowed a friend’s bicycle so she could ride the Burke-Gilman with us. We moseyed along, dodging college students with iPods and backpacks in the University District. There were many people walking and bikes, bikes, bikes.
On the way out, I looked at the scenery. Everything was a riot of spring, and some portions of the trail felt like peaceful green tunnels. Plum and cherry trees had exploded in pink and white blossoms, and daffodils and hyacinths provided yellow and purple accents. We rested halfway in a park under blue skies with fluffy clouds, watching a floatplane lazily follow the surface of Lake Washington.
On the way back, I paid more attention to my fellow trail-users. There were a few roller blades and lots of strollers, some accompanied by young parents and some by grandpas. I was surprised that there were no children on bicycles, only adults. But such variety of bicycles! It ranged from recumbents to old-fashioned bikes with baskets and wide handlebars. There were some slow cyclists, like us, but more fast riders. The really, really fast riders were dressed as “space aliens” and had strange bulges in their clothing that I suspected might have been bananas, also known as bicycle fuel.
I’m sure Burke and Gilman would be amazed to see their railroad line converted to a bicycle highway. They probably wouldn’t even recognize the things we call bicycles, given what bicycles looked like back in 1885. Cyclists didn’t dare ride fast, because they hadn’t yet invented brakes!
Thank goodness Burke and Gilman put in their railroad, so we can have our “bike freeway.” It’s thanks to forward-thinkers like them that we have an extensive rail network across the U.S. — the same network that brings bananas to bicyclists.
There once was a man named DeLay
Who found, to his shock and dismay,
His aide was indicted,
The Dems were delighted,
And Republicans said, “GO AWAY!”
In his resignation announcement today, Tom DeLay said that “after many weeks of personal prayer,” he had decided to step down from Congress. See the LA Times article, Delay Announces Plan to End Career in Congress.
After I sent this out, Tom Lambert suggested a much better title: Wedding Belles!
Two gals who were feeling quite plucky
Drove north in their lesbian truckie.
But the Mass. judge said no,
And so home they did go,
Now they’re living in sin in Kentucky.
Massachussetts Court Limits Gay Unions – The New York Times, March 31, 2006.
No, it’s really not that hard to rhyme,
And it just takes a whole lot of time.
But the meter’s the thing
To make every piece sing,
And limerick-writers like me consider lousy meter a terrible crime.
I was just categorizing a bunch of limericks, and I noticed that unless I filed one under the parent category of “General,” none of the other categories were displayed. I quickly had to write a limerick that I could file under “General,” so this was the result of 2 minutes of work. For more on anapest meter in limericks, see Confessions of a Limerick Junkie.
“So hit me!” the president cried,
To the dealer who sat by his side.
“It won’t be that hard,
For me to dis-Card,
We’ll dump him for someone untried.”
Bush announces the resignation of his Chief of Staff, Andrew Card.
We dressed head to toe in all green
And joined in the partying scene.
But I cannot abuse
That much Irish booze;
It just sends me to the latrine.
(A description of the surprise party for Charles’ 60th birthday.)
The ape that is called the baboon
Is hairy, and sings out of tune.
He’s not very tall
His legs are quite small,
But his arms, they could reach to the moon.
This one has been submitted to the Omnificient English Dictionary in Limerick Form, the OEDILF.
There once was a guy, Frankenstein
Who insisted his software was fine.
“I’m not really a freak,
Just the neighborhood geek,
And the girls really fall for my line.”
***
Barry’s currently building himself a new computer. Because all our computers have had names beginning with “F,” he’s calling this one “Frankenstein.”
There once was a poet named Joyce,
Who had an effeminate voice.
Since he was a man,
The monniker, “Stan,”
Would have been a more suitable choice.
Joyce Kilmer, who died in 1918, was the author of the famous poem, “Trees.” Some consider his verse inspired, others call it sappy (no pun intended), and still others quote it in the context of … golf ???