At Amazon, some geek must say,
“We’ll publish her book on this day,”
But til then, I wait,
In a trembling state,
To unveil before first of May.
I was ready to publish Strangers Have the Best Candy this morning, so I hit the big, scary “APPROVE” button on CreateSpace. Much to my surprise, the book doesn’t get populated to Amazon’s servers immediately! Argh!
The waiting is agony, but it should only be a couple of days at most.
I was feeling a bit of frustration,
And in search of a blood bank location.
But then yesterday saw,
At the town Mardi Gras,
The big bus for my tribute donation.
The Bloodmobile drove past us, behind a marching band and in front of a bunch of pirates with a cannon, in the St. Marys Mardi Gras parade. I didn’t think twice about it until I saw them parked at the end of the parade, between the children’s rides and the car show. Just about then, a hoard of biting gnats descended upon us, and Barry and I decided that it was better to donate the blood to a good cause — especially since it’s that time of year when we like to donate blood in memory of Becky Johns.
“Gnats are not a cause, they are an institution,” says Barry.
Rows of books on the shelves should allay,
My immense fears of failure each day,
For an author like me,
Published each one, you see,
And I hope my book joins them — by May!
I hope to have my book, Strangers Have the Best Candy, illustrated and ready for publication before my 50th birthday! If you want to be alerted when it comes out (as well as receiving my limericks and essays in your in-box), be sure to subscribe to the Meps’n’Barry mailing list.
There once was a guy with a pile,
Of t-shirts, just white ones, no style,
“We’ll tie-dye,” Dave said,
“Yellow, green, blue, and red,”
And the photos will make our friends smile.”
Dave’s gift of a tie-dye kit was the highlight of my 2013 Christmas! But there’s a back story to it: He had ordered Eric Maisel’s book, A Writer’s Paris, for me, and picked up the tie-dye because the book didn’t come in time. Now I am so lucky, because I have both the book, which he gave me after Christmas, and the beautiful shirts that we made in Dad’s backyard.
Mr. Barry was getting suspicious,
Was my broken bone merely fictitious?
Just a lazy girl’s ploy,
To abuse that poor boy,
And evade five whole weeks washing dishes.
My broken pinkie has finally been set free of immobilization, so I was able to wash the dishes yesterday. Barry really did wash all dishes for the past five weeks — my hero!
There once was a practical sailor,
Who went off to pick up some kale. Her
Pink bike was too small,
For fruits, veggies, and all,
So she shopped with her bicycle trailer.
The picture says it all — sailboat, dinghy, two kayaks, and a pink folding bicycle with a trailer. Who needs a car?
This word once described her: Poquito.
But this bug, with her massive libido,
Must have slept with a cow,
For her offspring are now
Too huge to be called mere “mosquito.”
What I wanted was just to relate,
To the mother of my chosen mate,
So we stared at the screen,
Of an Apple machine,
And we chatted of things like baud rate.
Though that’s twenty-three years in the past,
And our new Mac computers are fast,
We still sit back-to-back,
In the family shack,
And we surf and play games — what a blast!
They held extra rain in the sky,
Until I arrived in July,
A serious bummer,
Because in the summer
Seattle should be warm and dry.
Did you guys save this rain just for me? You shouldn’t have!
—
Though we stayed from December til May,
It was time to get back under way,
We had put our hook down,
In a posh Florida town,
And they just kicked us out yesterday.
Just kidding! The truth is complex —
No one in this fine town objects,
To our presence, in fact,
They speak to us with tact,
For my Dad’s the Crown Prince: “Vero Rex.”
He must be: He treats us like royalty!